This week was a little different to the previous two weeks: Instead of focusing on IT topics, this time we spent a whole week on communication training and team building.
We got to hear a bit of theory about communication, different types of communication and what can disrupt it. We also took a short personality test. These topics were not really new to me as I do a lot of reflecting and analyzing.
Apart from that, there was also some team work and more or less fun games that were supposed to bring us together as a group. We were deliberately mixed up so that not everyone was always in the same team with the same people. I admit, I also choose the class members I know better when it comes to group formation. But I also don’t mind if I have to work with other classmates.
I don’t want to go into any more detail about the content of the lessons themselves because I didn’t particularly enjoy them and I’m glad that things will continue as normal from next week. One more sentence on that later later.
Personal development and challenges
At this point, I’ll expand a bit and talk about my time at school. I don’t have fond memories of my time at school, I was more of an outsider, didn’t feel well integrated into the class(es) for the longest time and experienced bullying and violence.
This started in elementary school and caused me a lot of problems for the rest of my life, especially at school or in school-like situations.
In concrete terms, this means that I often skipped school, was absent a lot and missed out on a lot as a result (math, for example). I had bad social anxiety, which often got in my way. Giving presentations was always really bad. I’d usually rather get an F than give a presentation. I didn’t even dare to speak up in class (that got me bad grades for participation).
Looking back, I’ve really made a lot of progress in this area. I’ve worked a lot on myself and I’m particularly aware of that now in my retraining. A few years ago, I probably wouldn’t have dared to do it and if I had, I would have died of fear 😋💀 No, I would have backed down wherever I could and avoided a lot of things. Now I can actually talk to people, even the ones I don’t know yet!
I can’t say exactly how I learned to overcome or at least fight my fears. After all, it was a process that took many years. Over the years, I have slowly faced smaller challenges and, as I said, self-reflection. A lot of it. Especially since the last (estimated) ten years. I’ve slowly built up self-confidence and self-assurance and also had a sense of achievement that made new challenges seem less insurmountable.
Successes and setbacks
On the first or second day, there was a short presentation in the group. It was my “dream team”, meaning we got to group ourselves together. Actually, the presentation wasn’t too terrible when I think about it, but I shied away from it. With the group’s consent and in return I made the visual part pretty (flipchart), but I still wasn’t exactly proud of myself at the end.
Apart from that, I am proud of myself. I also got on well in the randomly formed groups and actively participated in the lessons.
There was also supposed to be a presentation on Friday, one for everyone. That may sound strange, I found it strange: a presentation about oneself. It wasn’t supposed to be about your career or anything like that, but it was supposed to give the class an impression of who you are or what you’re like.
To me: the horror! Not only am I supposed to speak in front of the whole class, but also about myself. I definitely didn’t want anything too personal or anything that could lead to personal questions. Honestly? I wanted to avoid it too. We were told from the start that we wouldn’t be forced to do anything. So you’re “allowed” to shirk if you don’t want something at all.
I even had a conversation with the coach about it and kept my mind open as to whether I would do it or not.
Oh yes, Power Point was mandatory for the presentation, for which there was a kind of crash course to teach us the basics. In fact, I’ve managed to avoid Power Point my whole life. But that sort of thing comes naturally to me and the presentation was quickly completed.
Just imagine: I actually gave my presentation and would say it went well. I was terribly nervous. My first “incentive” to jump over my own shadow anyway was that I would have to speak in front of people more often in future - at the latest for the final exam and I felt that I should practise dealing with my fears regarding that. But I also noticed that others were at least as nervous as I was and a few were quite open about it. That was an important incentive for me not to chicken out. But what also needs to be said: our class is really good, the cohesion right from the start is truly amazing. I have the feeling it can only get better. Overall, I feel comfortable with my classmates.
The class cohesion was particularly evident when there was a problem between the class and the coach. There were often moments of tension like that, which is why I said at the beginning: I’m glad it’s over. On the positive side, however, I think that it brought the class community closer together and strengthened it.
Prospects
I want to continue as before and face challenges. Next week we’ll be working on HTML and CSS. Since I’m already pretty familiar with it, I don’t expect to learn much technically (or anything?). I’m expecting a relaxed week for me. But I will definitely offer my help for those for whom HTML and CSS are (still) difficult. I’m looking forward to it.